Things a Mom "SHOULD know!?

My dear sweet mother has been going through parenting magazines clipping out articles and making a scrapbook for me... isn't that sweet?! I'm not sure if I should take that as a hint, as I am a horrible mother, or that these writers have better ideas. Either way... I was going through it today and I came across an article called "39 Things Every Mom Should Know." Hmmm.... Should know!? Or should learn to know?!

I am a mom. I was not born with some of this knowledge. So I will assume that I am supposed to LEARN to know them... I will not expound on all 39, just a few of them.

#5: If the kids are awake, bite the bullet and be awake yourself. You'll waste so many hours trying futilely to extend early-morning snoozes that it's not worth it. If you are sick, pregnant, or it's the middle of the night, ignore this advice.

I am just going to IGNORE this advice altogether.

#24: Use duvet covers on your comforters and forget about a top sheet.

Ummm.... OK?

#12: Know this: that stain won't come out. And it's OK. (the sooner you accept this, the better)

#2: Don't make birthday parties a huge deal.

WTH!? Umm... yes, make them a big deal! It was the day they were born! Just don't invite a bunch of roudy kids!

I pray every day....

that I will not put my children up for sale on Ebay or leave them at the store where they are throwing the fit.

For instance. I was at Target today, and being the WONDERFUL mom I am (not) thought that I would be nice and let them sit in the "limo" cart. You know what I'm talking about... the one where there is the cart, and then the four foot extra seat part where the children sit and it is about as long as a limo?! Yeah... so that lasted about five minutes before the princess started beating the crap out of her brother. And then they had to switch places, and then fought over the buckles and then switched places again?! ARG. It was then I contemplated to just leave them there and let them duke it out while I shopped in peace. BUT, I didn't. I should have. Because not ten minutes later, the boy was on the ground crying (in the middle of the exit doors) because of who knows why, while the Princess has run away to the entrance trying to go through those doors. That is when I was telling myself that I couldn't just leave. I had to stay there and take them home with me... first off, beause the Princess knows my phone number so they would hunt me down, and I really would feel bad for the people that took my kids home. :)

Nevertheless, I went home (with kids in tote) and we survived another day.... BARELY, but we did.

---Niece

I am only going to brag about these garlic potatoes because A. it isn't my recipe, and B. I didn't screw it up. I made them last night for a family dinner with the in-laws, and even my mother-in-law who I think at times wonders about my domestic abilities said, " Wow, you have really learned how to cook!" I tried not to take offense to that and instead relished the moment of actually producing something that wasn't previously frozen or in a box and they were absolutely scrumptious! The key is to cook them for 50 -60 minutes (even though the recipe suggests 30 minutes) and uncover the foil the last ten minutes. Also, I added some oil and mixed the potatoes around in the dish before I cooked them.
Oh, and I omitted the lemon juice.
Enjoy!
Aunt

Monday's Meal

Lasagna
(crock pot)

1 lb. cooked ground beef, seasoned (garlic powder, chopped onion, italian seasoning S&P)
1 jar of spaghetti sauce (whatever flavor you like)
box of OVEN READY lasagna noodles
Cottage cheese
Mozzarella cheese

-Spray crockpot with cooking spray so lasagna doesn't stic
-Mix meat and spaghetti sauce together
-Put a little meat sauce on bottom of crock pot
-Put noodles side by side next (you might have to break a couple of them to fit)
-Add more meat sauce on top of them
-Scoop some cottage cheese (however much you prefer) on top of meat sauce
-Add mozzarella cheese (also however much you prefer)
-Add noodles and repeat layers!

-Turn crock pot on low for roughly four hours!

*****Side dishes: Garlic bread (out of a box) and a salad

Is he your Daddy too?!

The husband is a business owner. A boss. A leader. A dad to two kids. That's right. TWO. Not three... so why do I feel like I am his third child?! Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?

I am not irresponsible. Nor flighty. The bills are paid on time, I shower on occasion (by myself nonetheless!) and can even put my shoes on the correct feet. So why when he talks to me, does he talk a little slower and in a higher voice!? I pay for my blonde hair, so I am not dumb! Here is a prime example.

I am not one to get embarrassed. The other night (on my birthday!) I was completely humiliated by "the dad". Story:

I have to go exchange a skirt for a different size that he bought me for my bday (thanks hunny).
The husband and kids are in the car.
There are two skirts on mannequins.
I go to the back (after him telling me exactly where the skirt is) and look for the size.
Don't find it and start walking back to the front.
I hear. "*name* did you find the size?"
Me: "No, it wasn't back there"
Him: Did you look on the mannequins?
Me: Not yet. I didn't want to undress them if I didn't have to.
Him: Why not? Oh look. Here is your size. (as he is undressing them)
Me: Ok.
Him: Let's get going. Why didn't you check these first?
Me: Because I didn't want to undress them.
Him: I'm going back in the car. Hurry.
Me: Thanks Dad!

Seriously. Maybe he just wanted to undress the "models" I was so embarrassed. And like I said, I don't get embarrassed easily. I was also informed on how to subtract 50 from 30 (the answer is 20 if you didn't know), where the closest gas station is to my location, and everything else under the sun. Don't get me wrong. I love my Dad... I mean husband. But that's who I want to live with. Not my dad.

"GLOW-rious!!!!"

People always stop me on the street and ask me how I get my 'youthful' glow.
Ok, I am kidding, never been asked that.
But, maybe next time you see me you will notice.
I received a 1oz sample of this creme by Clarins, as a sample from an order I placed through Sephora about 6 months ago. I have used just a little dab of this (above the cheekbones) almost every day and today I sadly squeezed the last drop and therefore the last day of my 'glow' until I can get another tube. I was a little disappointed that the price is a whopping $45.00, but I will be ordering it soon!
You can check out the details and reviews here-- so
if you are looking for a 'dewy glow' and a great moisturizer...

One of those days....

It has been one of those days. It started with:


Plus the FIVE loads of clean laundry that I had to fold (but you can't see it under my feet) BTW, does anyone else stick loads of laundry back in the dryer over and over again so they don't have to fold them?! Or is that just me?

Plus all the other normal crap of life and I resort to this:



And then I am this again:



Gut and all.

The end.

'Misa'

This is Misa. She is a one-year-old baby girl in Haiti who, according to the source of this photograph , had just woken up from a nap on the streets of Haiti where her family has been sleeping the last few days.
Of all the horrific images I have seen via the internet or t.v., this one really did me in.
I have a one-year-old baby girl too. She has that same little chubby neck roll as Misa and she took a nap today as well. The difference is that my baby girl woke up in a crib, in a house, warm and comfortable. She was smiling. And it makes me feel grateful, and guilty, and sad, and ashamed of all the trivial things I let consume me. As foreign and far away as Haiti is, one thing is the same, Misa has a mother and father who love her little neck rolls and I found myself feeling in a strange way happy as I thought about her today. Happy that she is alive

Monday's Meal

Here is this weeks meal. It is super easy! I hope you all enjoy it. Especially on a freaking cold day!

Taco Soup

1 pound of cooked hamburger (seasoned with salt, pepper and chopped onion)

ADD TO POT

28 oz. can of tomato sauce
15 oz. can of corn
15 oz. can of pinto beans
15 oz. can of black beans
15 oz. can of kidney beans (dark or light)
15 oz. can of white hominy (found by the canned corn and green beans)
1 pkg. of Hidden Valley BUTTERMILK Ranch packet (in salad dressing aisle)
1 pkg of taco seasoning

---DO NOT DRAIN ANYTHING! Cook on med/low for a couple of hours and enjoy!

Sides: Fritos, tortilla chips, scones

RHODES ROLLS SCONES

Microwave frozen rolls on a plate until they are soft (roughly 30 seconds)
Put two rolls together and stretch out
Place in hot oil and fry (flip over when golden brown and cook other side!

This is US.

Now that we have a few posts under our belts, it is time to introduce YOU to US.

We are Aunt and Niece. There is an eight year gap between us and we have grown up like sisters. Niece, passing through middle school and high school 8 years after Aunt was repeatedly mistaken for Aunt by middle and high school teachers. There is an eight month difference in the time we were married (Niece being married first), and a three month difference of our first born daughters (Aunt winning that one). Niece had a baby boy two years after The Princess was born, and Aunt had a baby girl exactly one year after that.

Aunt is definitely the beauty guru of the two. Niece always abides by the "Beauty Rules of Aunt" and has often dyed and cut her hair to the specifications of Aunt, and when there has been a bad cut or color, Niece often goes to Aunt to either blame her or get confirmation that the hair do is as really as bad as it looks. Niece often receives the "hand me downs" of Aunt which has included clothes with tags still on it, designer jeans (Niece being the cheap one), and home decor. Aunt loves to shop, plan parties, and spend irresponsibly on whatever beauty product claims to make her beautiful. Her life is filled with family, friends, and being in "the know" of entertainment news. (She also knows A LOT about the little things like politics and world issues). She however gets and "F" in personal finance.

Niece is the more conservative one. 'Great Value' is her middle name! She thinks (or thinks she thinks) more logically than Aunt (sometimes), and often offers her opinion whether it is wanted or not. Patience is a definite trial for the both of us, but with a Diet Coke (Niece drinks Diet Pepsi) anything can be solved for both of them and the children...

We talk multiple times a day, commiserating together as we attempt to excel, or sometimes just survive motherhood. And of course to discuss more important matters like if Rozlyn really cheated on Jake on The Bachelor.

We explained a little bit in the first post, but we want this blog to be interactive, a place where you can find some relief. We know that we can't be the only two ladies out there that feel overwhelmed with every day life and still maintain some personal hygiene. We want meal ideas, cleaning tips, beauty product suggestions, parenting styles, and stories.... we will have some sort of structure set up in the next week or so (if the kids would just leave us the heck alone for a couple of hours), but please, please PLEASE! help us with this. We hope that as a network of moms, wives and WOMEN we can keep each other somewhat sane and happy.

O.P.I. Nail Polish

Aunt will mainly be doing the posts on beauty products (I don't know all that much), BUT! I am going to beat her to it for now.

Anyone heard of O.P.I Nail Lacquer!? Yeah, I hadn't until recently. I usually do the Wal-Mart specials of Wet'n'Wild or if I feel like splurging I will go Revlon, or something like that. I really don't even know any brands of nail polish. Not the point.

For Christmas Aunt (and husband, that's a whole other story!) gave me O.P.I nail polish MATTE finish. I have "You Don't know Jacques" and "Lincoln Park at Dark" and I L.O.V.E it! It literally dries in 15 seconds. Only problem. It comes off in about 12 hours. Literally. Doing dishes, cleaning, sleeping, it doesn't matter. It comes off. With two coats. It doesn't matter. There is a disclaimer saying that it doesn't stay on as long as the lacquer, but don't use a base coat, top coat, or anything else. WHAT THE HECK?! How am I supposed to keep it on?! I don't want to keep reapplying every 12 hours... I don't have time, or WANT to have time to do that. Anyway, suggestions would be helpful. The bottle said $8.50. Wouldn't you want it to stay on!? Me too.


-----Niece

Snot rag.

There are many times in a day that one or both of my children (ages two and four) come and "give me a hug" to either wipe their snotty noses on my pants, skirts, or shoulders. The first "hug" usually comes about three minutes after I put on my pants. I know this comes with the "joys" of motherhood, but really!? On my new black shirt I just got at Target?! ARG.

Point of the story. I was at dance the other day, and saw a Mom with dried snot on her shoulder. AWESOME. I felt much better, knowing that my shoe had just been peed on by The Boy...


Niece.

Housewife, mother -- A.K.A. Penguin Killer

As I was walking out of the baby's nursery the very concerned four-year-old said, " Mom, you forgot to turn off the light... and that kills baby penguins." She then walked back into the nursery and turned the light off. After some probing, she told me that her daddy told her that "when we (meaning MOMMY), forget to turn off lights and close the garage door, it causes the earth to warm, and baby penguins die." Wow. The husband just hit an all time high in the art of 'scaring a child to death to accomplish an agenda.' By the way, this is coming from a guy who believes (for the most part) that global warming doesn't exist.
While I nag a bit about the forgotten ice cream bowls left in his office with the spoon frozen to the bottom, and the age old toilet lid issue, HIS issue is with lights left on and the garage door left open. Of course, my peeves never win any arguments because they aren't money suckers, although, I could argue that I have thrown out over a dozen bowls since we have been married.
But really? Need we resort to manipulating the 4 year old? I gotta give him credit though. His plan was a success, because she won't ever forget those words..."killing penguins" and she won't let me forget them either.

Bar Keepers Friend.

I LOVE this stuff. If you are looking for a good cleaner for your flat top stove, sink, counters, and even toilets.... it is for YOU! With this and a sponge (one with the scrubber on one side), you can attack anything. I promise. It is super cheap and it works awesome. I suggest wearing gloves because it can leave your hands feeling a bit funny and "dry" but even then, it is totally worth cleaning with. You can find it by the Comet, Ajax and other cleaners at a store near you! (do I sound like a commerical?!) Yeah, go get some if you are looking for something cheap to clean with. It ROCKS!

WARNING! WARNING! Abort EVERYTHING else you are doing! We have a... MAN COLD!!

ok so I know that it is a little dramatic, but hyperbole is exactly the way to describe the last 24 hrs. and counting, living with this debilitating, life threatening (you would think) sickness the husband has had.
Even as I sit here typing I receive sporadic text messages, almost like he has a little bell next to the bed, asking me for something.
Let it be said that the 363 days during the year
(that's assuming he is healed by tomorrow), I am quite frankly the dramatic one in our marriage. A self-admitted hypochondriac. (Geez I hate that word, hypochondriac. It sounds so harsh.) I am actually much better than I used to be, but I blame that on lack of time. This whole being a mom thing and having to worry about other people besides myself has really prevented me from self-diagnosing myself (along with the endless hours spent on Web M.D. ) and finding a cure for all the diseases, that now I don't even know that I have.
The husband loves to remember the first few years of our marriage when I was at the height of my disease and I became obsessed with having blood tests, doctors visits, the occasional MRI and oh yes, his favorite to remind me of is the LUMBAR PUNCTURE , more commonly known as a 'spinal tap'. I make light of it now, but at the time I was really convinced I was dying. Also at the time, the husband didn't think it was so funny. Who knew an MRI could cost so much. I actually remember wishing they would find something, even just an itsy bitsy tumor, so I could validate the financial toll it was taking. Anyway, that was YEARS ago, two, to be exact and now I am stepping up to the plate and attending to the sick and VERY needy with a smile and a soft voice asking, "Poor little bunny, what else can I do for you?"
p.s. if you haven't seen this commercial--it is hilarious. Click {HERE} to view it!

What's wrong with your face!?

My resolution for the year. Be myself and enjoy it. In trying to keep this resolution (I have done great! Eleven days into the year and it hasn't been broken, GO ME!) I am going to talk about something I am learing "to live with."

Most women have body image issues. Whether it be the "junk in their trunk", thunder thighs, baby pooch, or the boobs that now hang TO their baby pooches, we all have them. Mine you ask? Acne.

In recent weeks, I have been asked by close family members, who shall remain nameless (Drew), what is wrong with my face. Seriously. Is that not SO RUDE?! I don't ask why they waddle like a duck or have knee caps that relate to the size of a horse!

Yes, I have ACNE. A.C.N.E. Acne. Adult acne, hormomal teenage acne, baby acne. Whatever you want to call it, I have it. Often. It usually peaks during "my time of the month," two weeks before then, and probably the week after, but nevertheless, there is usually a blemish (or four) on my face. I pick my face out of habit, and I know it needs to stop. Sometimes I shy away from people because I don't want them staring at the third eye that has miraculously appeared out of nowhere! I have tried everything from soap and water to Clean & Clear, Accutane, and ProActiv and nothing has worked. Therefore, I just need to get over it, stop picking it (know I will always have it) and realize there are bigger "issues" out there I need to be worrying about- like who Jake is going to pick on "The Bachelor". (Did anyone see it tonight!? D.R.A.M.A!!! Stay tuned for the Top Ten List!)

So! I am going to try and stop making it such an issue. I am going to "embrace" my acne (if that's what you want to call it) and worry about the "bigger" issues out there.

Ladies (and men if you are reading as well). Let us unite together and embrace some of the things we might not be able to control, because in most cases (obviously not in mine) people don't notice if your thighs rub together, if your fingers are crooked, or if you have hair on your back. Only you. So be you. Or try to be you. And I will try to like my face. Or the zits on my face. The Princess (aka my four year old daughter) seems to like them. She often points out to me that I have them... so sweet of her.

On a lighter note, American Idol starts tomorrow night (Tuesday) on Fox! I am SO glad that the TV shows are starting back up again. I am SICK of having to socialize with my husband and kids!!!

-----Niece

DON'T BE JEALOUS!

“She’s just jealous” was my mother’s motto when I was growing up. This saying was the perfect cure for hurt feelings and provided temporary comfort in the world of MEAN girls. I find myself recycling this phrase to my four-year old daughter, girlfriends in need of a self-esteem boost, and even random sob stories I hear from mere acquaintances, in which once this phrase is pulled out, immediately makes them a ‘BFF’.

In the last year or so I have tried to appease myself with this phrase as I have discovered the blogosphere which is replete with the overachieving domestic goddess who somehow in one day manages to post a menu of her monthly meals, the money she has saved clipping coupons, housekeeping tips, and the cute bows and tutus (that take ‘just minutes’). Oh yeah, and it was raining that day, so she put on an ‘impromptu’ circus in the living room for the kids… SO FUN!!
So after reading just a couple of these blogs, I convinced myself there could only be a few of these women out there, but all it took was a few hundred clicks on their “my favorite blogs” list and I knew I was in trouble.
This domestic goddess might as well have been sitting here on my couch telling me... “YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS!!”

So in an effort to make myself feel better I went to the niece, who also lives by this family motto, to see if I was the only one feeling like the worst mom ever. I couldn’t hear her response due to her kids screaming “YOU’RE THE DUMBEST MOM EVER! in the background so I took that as a no.

We have decided that amidst the PERFECT lives in blogosphere, we cannot be the ONLY two 'Pop-Tart ’ moms out there. This blog is designed to not only make YOU feel better about YOUR life, but to hopefully discuss real life issues we face, ideas how to handle these issues (from the reader), simple meal ideas, giveaways (so if you have anything you want to give away let us know!) and encourage us all to know we no longer need to live by the ‘she’s just jealous’ motto.

PS. Please forgive the boring look to our blog while we sass it up!