Stretch marks.

Yes, yes, yes. It is time for me to rant about another body issue that I have. You're stoked right?! Just to know that I really am not as perfect as I seem!? So... from the title, you should know what I am going to moan about... A lot of people have them. Mainly women, but men, and even some teenagers if they grow too fast! (I try to make myself feel better about it). Either way, I am one of the unfortunate ones that have them. I got them two weeks before I gave birth to my first child. I thought I was free since I had made it 38 weeks without any. And then it started... the itching got worse and worse, and then I noticed that little red line right under the place where my belly button used to be. And then I noticed a few more the next couple of days, and well- you get the picture. And they hurt! I never thought they would hurt, but man did they hurt! I was pissed! (yes Mom, I know that didn't sound very lady like). If she only would have come two weeks early, I would have been SCAR FREE. But. She didn't. And now, I hate it. And I have this layer of fat in between my stomach muscles and skin, plus the stretched out skin (obviously I don't have much elasticity in it) and no matter how much weight I lose, it is ALWAYS there. ALWAYS... And kind of looks like cottage cheese. Is that WAY too much information!? Probably. At least you don't have to look at it. I am SO jealous of all of you women that have stretchy skin. I don't even want more kids, just for the fact that I don't want to think about what my skin will end up looking like... UGH.

Stretch marks SUCK.

Anxiety.

I left town approximately 12 hours ago. I was ready to go home six hours after I left my destination. No joke. I know I'm a loser. The thing is, I love going on vacation. I love doing new things. Until I get to where I'm going and then I spaz out. I don't know why. But I do! I feel like I am suffocating and don't know which way to turn. I try to find every excuse to go home as quickly as possible. But I am rational enough to tell myself to relax and just have a good time. That the kids don't get out enough and to enjoy what we are doing. And I do. Until I think about Gavs missing his nap. Or them not getting to sleep in their bed at exactly 7:30. Or when my two year old throws a tantrum from HELL in the middle of a hospital parking lot, running from my car, almost getting hit by another, and then throwing himself to the asphalt like I am the worst mom EVER (maybe I am). When I get to our sleeping quarters, I unpack all of their bags, repack them, and then close them up for the night to do it all over again in the morning. Freak. I know. I should just up my anti-anxiety meds a few days before I know I am leaving town so I am the same "balanced" person I am at home (at least I think I'm balanced.) I envy any one that can just pick up and go and not think twice about it! I wish I could be you. Please, tell me how you do it. I am begging you! Or just go on vacation with my family, so I can stay home and be the "hermit" I love to be. Strange thing is... I am not home A TON when I am home. Man, I really am a loser. Is anyone else like this since they have had kids!? And how do I avoid not making my kids this way?!

-----Niece

Housewife, mother -- A.K.A. Penguin Killer

As I was walking out of the baby's nursery the very concerned four-year-old said, " Mom, you forgot to turn off the light... and that kills baby penguins." She then walked back into the nursery and turned the light off. After some probing, she told me that her daddy told her that "when we (meaning MOMMY), forget to turn off lights and close the garage door, it causes the earth to warm, and baby penguins die." Wow. The husband just hit an all time high in the art of 'scaring a child to death to accomplish an agenda.' By the way, this is coming from a guy who believes (for the most part) that global warming doesn't exist.
While I nag a bit about the forgotten ice cream bowls left in his office with the spoon frozen to the bottom, and the age old toilet lid issue, HIS issue is with lights left on and the garage door left open. Of course, my peeves never win any arguments because they aren't money suckers, although, I could argue that I have thrown out over a dozen bowls since we have been married.
But really? Need we resort to manipulating the 4 year old? I gotta give him credit though. His plan was a success, because she won't ever forget those words..."killing penguins" and she won't let me forget them either.